Tuesday, October 17, 2006

What the hell...

What happened to JLO? This woman used to inspire/depress me with her hotness. If this is what marriage does to you I'll stay single, thanks. Of course, getting married to the great sliver of potential necrophilia that is Mark Anthony may not have been the best guarantee of eternal sexiness. Then there was that thing where she fell out with her make up artist. Ladies, you can fall out with your sister, you can fall out with your mother, you can fall out with your husband. But DO NOT EVER fall out with the person that does your make up. Or your hairdresser. If you remember nothing else I’ve said, remember that.

P.S. This might sound real obvious but the more obvious something is the greater the chances that people don’t know it. Remember the Carnival tip about cutting the toe of your stockings/tights so your feet won’t drop off from the blood loss? Great. Now, there is an exception to this rule. Do not cut the toe if it’s fish net stockings. Unless you really want to end up wearing Lambada tights.

14 comments:

Island Spice said...

Damn. I havent seen her in the gossip news lately.. now I see why. She looks tired. How sad.. she really was the trendsetter like a minute ago.. And Puffy / Diddy / Sean just gets hotter.. hmm.. we ladies really gotta keep up the fight for our looks eh? Or just get married ...

Hottie Hottie said...

PUFF DADDY looking hot?! Girl, what you smoking?! She really looking tired. Like Marc giving she plenty Latin looooooove...

Prettidolli said...

LOL @ "Lambada" tights...........

Jennifer was once THE DEFINITION of de MOST HOT flyness. From haute couture to 'round de way street ghetto fabulosity, she did it all! The world's best couturiers would reserve ENTIRE collections just for her. Her Vogue spreads were drop dead gorgeous! JLo could pimp wid de best of 'em...Now she looks like one HOT mess. It's ah shame.:(

To her credit, I respect that she fired that makeup artist despite the fact he was a DAMN good one. He couldn't keep his frigging mouth shut. Her business running all out ah he mouth like ah midnight train to Georgia. As a business woman I totally agree with the shrewd manner in which she handled him. She simply told him something untrue and put her ear to the ground to listen for any repeats. There WERE, and he was the sole culprit as he was the only one she told the lie to. I've been doing this since lil' pickney days...It ALWAYS works without fail. Discretion is both an art and a science. Like JLo, I refuse to deal closely with folks who cannot be discrete. They will perpetually stay at arm's length...Yuh done know! Her maquillage has suffered tremendously though. Blech!

Hottie Hottie said...

Girl, I understand all dat. But tonaire! She coulda staple he mouth together or something oui! Yuhmean to say he is de ONNNNNNLLLLYY person could put on makeup in the US?

Prettidolli said...

TONNAIRE in she undahwear yes! LOLOL! Yes, de staples could've prob'ly wuk..Duck tape too ent? Jen shoulda try ah ting dey...Is life or death she dealing wid. She face need to be well and propah "beat" fuh she public eh?

But dem damn sugah dipped French panty men does well and chat too much. Whey! I mean ah love dem and so, but dey just cyan SHUT UP! I mean, how else is a glama girl supposed to get she hair and face done? Steupsss...

Hottie Hottie said...

Is sugah dipped yuh say yuh know?!! KYAR!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sugar spun - all light and fluffy like Mariah Carey on helium.

SexyIslandGirl said...

"...sliver of potential necrophilia that is Mark Anthony...."

LMAO. You sure do have a way with words. What an apt description.

Carnival Jumbie (Diva) said...

You know I NEVER cut the toes off my stockings? and never had a problem. Guess I'm just lucky. But I always wear socks over the stockings

Hottie Hottie said...

sexyislandgirl, thanks! Yuh have meh blushing...

Hottie Hottie said...

Diva, I only wear stocking once. I was playing mas with a friend who was playing for the first time and I get caught up in the excitement she was feeling and say lemme try the thing. Girl, I kyah even remember if it stay on all day. I think I have vague memories off ripping it off sometime in the day but that could be wishful thinking. All I know if bout 1/2 an hour after the thing start - which, as you know means it eh start yet - my foot start to feel like I have gangrene. Girl! Like I was cripple! I hadda borrow somebody keys and buss way them toes fast fast oui. But I had enough common sense to wear socks with it. And I didn't even get meh proper colour. Nuttin eh wrong with my leg and them so I going back to bare oui!

Carnival Jumbie (Diva) said...

hottie you better than me yes girl, since I put on my little weight in school I real hard on myself when it comes to my skin. If it not looking like i air brush it on , I not coming with it outside. There is another trick I used to use when modelling costumes for band launch. Some bronsing powder mixed with a little baby oil, you would never know if you had any stretch marks . I fraid to try it in the sun whole day, that baby oil might fry yuh like a coconut bake. But I have a friend who does it on teh day, I doh trust she word at all!

Karabana said...

The whole stocking thing, aint it necessary to wear 'em bc of the extreme heat, to prevent chafing? I don't wear them here (TO), bc it's not that hot or that long of a route, but I keep hearing to absoutely wear them in T'Dad. (Although some gyrls, skinny or big, wear them at Caribana) Didn't think it had anything to do with your fitness.

Hottie Hottie said...

Karabana is because it does be so hot I doh wear them. Them thing does make yuh sweat. Yuh doh have to I think.I don't know about the chaffing thing - yuh legs eh go be close whole day anyway - remember yuh dancing!

Karabana said...

Hmmmm... now I don't know...
oh & Jenny's handlers should find themselves here & read y'all's (harsh!) comments so they won't let that disaster look happen again!!!