Okay, my question for today is this: Do you catch more flies with honey, or a big stick? I ask this because of a situation I was in that recently came to a head. A few months ago I took on a flatmate. Now, the girl I took was a Trini, a friend of a friend I knew back home. She couldn’t afford the full amount I was asking for, and she couldn’t pay a deposit because she was a student and working part time. But I figured I’d take her anyway because she needed to find a place and I thought it might be better to have someone I knew rather than a complete stranger in the flat. Two hands clapping.
Awrite, so she moves in and then it comes out that she couldn’t pay me monthly but rather weekly. I say alright (it’s partly my fault I tell myself, we should have discussed this before). Anyway, the rent per week works out to be £62.50. She starts off paying that, as agreed, on Friday mornings before I go to work. Then, eventually, starts paying Friday evenings. We never had any discussions about this eh, it just happened. I say alright, might be inconvenient for her to go downstairs to the ATM etc.
Then bam, just so, just so I come home Friday evenings and there’s no money. I getting the money on Saturday. The first time it happened she tells me it’s because she had to pay a bill. The second time was because she had nuttin to eat and had to make groceries. The third time – well, by the third time it come like she was doing me a favour and I getting the money after she get up on a Saturday and gone in town and do she business and come back. No explanation, so I hadda be wondering if I getting pay on a Friday or a Saturday – it all depends on what vaps takes her.
Then yuh had the weeks where she had school fees to pay and kyah pay rent that week, so I getting rent the next week. One time she take three weeks to give me the rent. And while all this happening I telling myself to try and be understanding, that I don’t know how hard she has it and if it was me I would be feeling bad to be struggling to meet my expenses so.
Aye aye! Madam start coming in at night and eh saying good evening, leaving in the morning and eh saying nuttin like if we vex. But as far as I know we eh vex. So it get to the point where I feeling uncomfortable in my own flat! She also start paying £60 instead of the £62.50 and eh saying nuttin. I eat up mehself over that for weeks, studying if to ask she for the money. Eventually I decided to let it pass. I said, that might pay for a meal or something for her but is small change for me. In the end she paid me the outstanding money – several months after, and please bear in mind that, once again, she never asked me anything about this.
So two weeks ago the water bill comes (the bills come every six months) and I ask her if she could pay half. She proceeds to tell me that the only way she could to pay half the bill is if she doesn’t pay rent!!!!!!!!! And then goes on to TELL me that since the bill is on her name, to pay the bill today because she doesn’t want to get a bad credit rating. Now this woman don’t even have a damn bank account and ran off from her last place without telling her landlord anything (which I only found out this weekend) and has the gall to talk about credit rating! And this comes at a time when I trying to do some serious saving eh. So I found a new place to rent – less money, closer to work – and since she doh talk to people I emailed her telling her I’d given the landlord three weeks notice that I was moving and if she wanted to remain she could but she would have to pay the full rent and the deposit and enter into a new lease agreement. She sends me back an email saying I could have spoken to her about it and she never wants to talk to me again.
Well I too glad. This is someone who very quickly took my kindness for weakness, took advantage of my generosity, was moody, had an attitude and only spoke to me when it suited her needs. Imagine she didn’t speak to me for weeks, was only hiding in she room and started back talking when her birthday was approaching and wanted me to cook curry! And she has the gall to say never speak to her again. But the joke is, all the vex she vex and all the beast I is beast she make sure she pay she rent in full, and on time last Friday. So hence the question about the flies and the big stick. When I was trying to be kind and understanding she was giving me pressure. Now that I moving dread she under manners and doing what she was supposed to do in the first place.
So what do you think, do people respond better to nice treatment or bad treatment? Feel free to share personal experiences.