Okay, so how old is too old to have your first child? When I was growing up doctors used to say that you should have your first child by 30. Nowadays they say 35 and some doctors up here have argued that that age could be pushed back even further. But recently I've been reading a lot of articles that basically say doctors and society are fooling women and that we need to return to the "in your twenties" belief from before. Magazines carry stories of women who waited too late and then can't have kids at all, stories which do nothing to assure my hyped up biological clock. So anyway, what do you guys think? When is the best age to have your first child? It's really bugging me. Ok, well not REALLY bugging me but I'm thinking about it alot. I don't forsee myself being in a position to have a child anytime soon (school, money, needing to get back a hot body and fete after these months of self deprevation) and I don't want to have a child until I can put that child first in my life in terms of priorities. Plus I have no man but I have a contingency plan worked out so if things get bad all I have to do is invest in some wine and red beans. But that is a long story.
Sometimes I wish I was a man so that this question would not be a problem. But then I'd have to wear boring flat shoes all the time and people kinda watch you funny when you shave your legs. So write me back and tel me personal experiences etc.
9 comments:
personal experience, i have never been asked a question about shaving my legs...
Eh heh!? Nobody ever watch yuh kina strange.
not really.. once yuh not a "girlie man" they suppose yuh have good reason.
Well society has become more open. Usually the leg shaving involves sports, which in itself is considered manly. Wait. If you feel you taking over my womb post with your foot and dem yuh lie.
I think it depends on the person but before you write that off as a cop-out response lemme just say that I had my first at 30 and that was the right time for ME because of the point I'd reached in my life. I was ready. I'd finished college, I'd enjoyed my twenties (very important so as not to feel as though the child is cramping your style because believe me you will cease to recall the meaning of the words "social life"), and had accomplished or realised a bunch of other stuff that I won't get into.
For some people all that might happen before 30. For some, after. But aside from the fact that you don't want to be 45 and running behind a toddler, you just need to make sure you do you and finish doing you before you decide to take on the responsibility for another life.
When your birth control fails and the stick goes pink,......that's the best time..
In seriousness....I don't think there ever is a best time. You never have enough money, or time or a big enough house. But I do want to have a kid with someone...not just someone who deposits a cheque....
You chicks and your biological clocks... Adopt... Avoid the 9 months of weight-gain, the back-pain, swollen feet, buying maternity clothes, wearing maternity clothes, having your vagina torn open, stretch-marks, saggy skin, sore nipples etc...
I ain't a girl, or a girlie-man, but I've lived through the whole glamorous cycle 3 times with 2 different women, and I still don't see why it's so necessary to squeeze your own out, when there are a whole bunch already birthed with no-one to love them.
I waited until I was 30 to start trying (had been married 5 years by then, out of law school 3 years, had house job etc) and it still didn't feel like the best time. Wanted to work longer etc.
Anyway it took me 10 mos to conceive b/c nobody told me it's hard to conceive the older you get (especially past 30).
Had my 2nd 14 mos after the 1st.
And my personal vow is not to have any after 35 (which I turned earlier this year).
That clock literally ticks despite what folks say to the contrary.
I don't know what it means to TRY to get pregnant. I know what it's like to try NOT to. I got married at 20 with plans to wait at least 5 years before having kids. Birth control failed. I had one at 21 and the other at 22.
I wouldn't change a thing. I can't imagine starting over now.
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