Thursday, January 18, 2007

Suffer little children

Column this week

Man I have no luck. I really don’t. I’m not good at anything, or maybe I should say I’m good at all the wrong things. I can write and I can paint and I’ve been told I have a wicked little putkay but none of those things translate into the big bucks and fancy cars and guys in skimpy swimwear serving you drinks on your yatch. Well, the putkay might but the other stuff, no. Unless you’re Danielle Steel. But then, strictly speaking, she can’t write either. And yet she keeps doing it. It’s almost admirable how she churns them out, they way Gizmo spits out gremlins when his back gets wet. A little note to Danielle Steel fans, don’t email me protesting. And yes, I can still say that she can’t write even after reading Thurston House.

I mean, you read the papers and hear on the news that David Beckham gets a deal to play football for £128m and it makes you realise that life essentially has no meaning. You take things like flowers and hard work and education and fidelity and you realise they’re all a waste of time. You could have four PhDs and never earn a quarter of what Beckham will earn in a month. So what’s the sense of learning the impact of the Agricultural Revolution on the development of human civilization? You can’t go into Jimmy Choo and buy snakeskin stilettos with that. Better learn to kick a ball. Or better yet, to bend it like Beckham, so you can loll off on your yatch with those bikini clad hotties. Unless you’re one of those who thinks that money isn’t the key to happiness. And that’s okay, but then this isn’t the column for you. I know I’d rather be rich and unhappy than poor and miserable. At least when I’m rich and depressed I can afford to buy new shoes and distract myself. And hire some men to wear skimpy swimwear and serve me on my yatch.

You know what used to get to me? Those ads you see on cable with a pretty but dirty child walking in rubbish somewhere in the Third World and you hear the voiceover that says for less than a dollar a day you can sponsor a child and ensure that they eat and go to school and not drink water with mosquito larvae or old tyres floating around in it. And then you hear that Old Becks is earning a pound for every person living in Russia, give or take a few thousand. So it makes you wonder how many children he could sponsor and how many lives he could save. Hmmm, essentially every child in Russia for five years could be living and laughing and learning courtesy Beckenham with quite a few millions left over. I mean, you wouldn’t want Posh to cut down on her shopping now would you? When I see those ads it makes me want to get my purse and turn over every penny I have. Which aren’t a lot but who can see children starving when a dollar/pound could buy them clothes and rice and rehydration salts?

And you go to the grocery and see old men with three things rattling around in a basket who spend the greater part of five minutes counting the coins needed to pay for the things that you know will constitute breakfast, lunch and dinner for the next few days. And you pass the men huddled and bundled under blankets in doorways begging you to spare some money and part of you is still human enough to care but that’s beaten into cowering submission by the part of you that knows by the next day you’ll need that same pound you’re tempted to give away.

The argument is that Becks (and Posh, we can’t forget Posh) is going to bring some much needed glamour and respectability to the game which still has to gain popularity and some national respect in the US of A. He’s good-looking, fashionable, a family man and also good-looking. I guess they figure the gain will come from exposure and not ticket sales. Which makes some sense. But I can’t help but think about those children walking barefoot in rubbish. How did it get to be that getting people to like football was worth more than the life of a child?

22 comments:

saucydiva said...

Hotts if you go to study how much unfairness it has in this world between the rich and the poor you might be tempted to pull a Bin Laden!

I hear you for sure about the part that you can have 4 PHDs and never make Beckham's salary... they don't tell you that in school now do they? And I too always say it is better to be rich and unhappy than poor and unhappy, cause poverty does not guarantee happiness the way some people does tout "money doh bring yuh happiness".

What about those "celebs" like Paris Hilton who do nothing and rake in the money, not an iota of talent in their little toe! I think the whole world has gone mad thinking that these people deserve the money they make while people all over the world suffering.

The only "hope" that seems to shed a light on this whole thing is Oprah; did you see her multi million dollar school in Africa? Maybe one day she will save the world!

tantiejean said...

I'd just like to move to that place where you can live on just $1.00 a day. Hope Beckham does a really good football movie while he's there. Also lil miss Hilton is getting a million bucks to go on a date with a 70 sumthin yr old grandpa. I'm saying if you get that kinda money for a date no sex included would you do it? Oh and props to Oprah and that school i loved those interviews.

Trouble said...

I'm not sure what your putkay is... But I'll use my imagination...

You could always learn to catch, kill, skin, tan and sew your own Jimmy Choo snakeskin knock-offs...

...and don't be fooled by those ad's... There are no poor, dirty, starving children... It's a scam...

Bad Jane Dolli said...

Unless you’re Danielle Steel. But then, strictly speaking, she can’t write either. And yet she keeps doing it.......

LOL! Happy New Year Hottie...I'm not sure about de putkay, but I sure can poodyyyy! LOL.
You are right, Dani kyah write to save her life, but she's now fresh enough to sell perfume, clothing, and her own line of jewelry. :o

"I know I’d rather be rich and unhappy than poor and miserable."
Yuh done know. ;) Then you could hire some po' folk to entertain yuh and mek yuh feel nice n' happy! Yuh know, like nice n' easy?
And to carry yuh Jimmy Choo boxes.
And to pour yuh champy.
And tuh rub dong yuh sore feet and aching bod from de trip and fall yuh experience after drinking plenty champy and falling dong like timber in yuh nice high heeled shoes dem.
And to tell yuh dat why in de arssssse they could feed so many people overseas for less than $1 a day, but persons right in these so called developed countries starving? Why? B/c YES! It's a scam.

Siggh! Nah gyel, we cannot 4get we Lady Vic Poshie. She fits de bill and she's well and expensive eh! Now if we could just get her to stop putting that damn finger down her throat after one of those pricey meals...........

B.M.O.B 08 said...

Well Hottie seems we were both thinking the same thing this week! All the PHd and degrees could never bring you that kind of money. Sometimes I wonder, they tell you go to school get an education and you will go places. Yes, sometimes you do but it takes years, and you have to be in the right place at the right time.

Have you notice that most of our billionaires did not even attend college? Go figure!

Education provides you with your needs to live and survive one day at a time. It does not provide you the wants like Beckham, JLo, Beyounce, JayZ etc...

This week I decided to start writing a book or a screen play and pitch it to a publisher.

I am a Stephen King fan for life, and enjoy sci-fi and horrors so my writing is going to reflect that. With any luck it comes out good and someone will pick it up.

Cause girl I am tired of this just getting by working 9-5.

Karabana said...

HH, I wonder the same damn things sometimes. (I grew up saying I was going to be an author. Until I realized how many Margaret Atwood's (famous Canadian writer) can there be? So, I did the practical thing where you can make money, journalism.)
I couldn't be a prolific writer like D. Steele or S. King, too much pressure.

"Money can't buy happiness, but I'm happiest when I can buy what I want..."

ttfootball said...

in this time you have to have a look, or be able to talk or DO something. When I tell ppl football schol. get me about US$100k for my BSc they say Hmm! Better I go an kick some ball yes! That is how it is. And when yuh get yuh degree, yuh have to take it and do something for YOURSELF. I getting my MBA now but I makin $ from coaching.
Ah glad yuh point out Oprah, cuz she is really an exception, somebody who really putting money towards things like that, yuh eh see the uproar in America? They say why she doh do these things "closer to home?" as if america eh have enough money as it is to cater to they own underpriviledged instead of paying it to Becks. To me that jsut goes to show ...people's expectations and how misused money can be.

katrice said...

People always trying to tell other people how to spend their money. Needs are everywhere, and we all have an obligation to help someone else on whatever scale we can. I only hope that should I ever become wealthy I don't lose my good sense. (Assuming I have some now. ;-) )

katrice said...

Oh and as an American, it is true that we have a lot of poor. Too many poor! And also the ridiculously rich. It is a shame. Almost makes you think they were on to something with socialism.

Vami said...

Hottie, you have me sad and thinking....sniffle!

TriniQueen said...

Funny, I was watching AC360 (with Anderson Cooper) last night. He was reporting the atrocities of child prostitution. Seeing this prompted a lot of thoughts similar to those expressed on this excellent post. There are people who have endured terrible hardships, then turn around and help those who go through the same. Unfortunately, the only gold these folks possess are thier hearts. Meanwhile, the Paris Hiltons and the David Beckhams flaunt their looks and the little talent they have (well, in both cases I could only speak for Becks) and earn trillions. It is disgusting. And the moral of the stroy is: In this world, it pays to be selfish, and it costs to be kind...

Carnival Jumbie said...

If its any consolation I read n article today that Posh Spice may very well blow the family fortune if she does not cut her spending. she spent 100 grand on some toy planes and customised rooms for her kids. She is also looking at 15 million dollar houses. Right now they are comparing her extravagnces to the likes of MC Hammer. She may be real poor again real soon. LOLOL

Carnival Jumbie said...

If its any consolation I read n article today that Posh Spice may very well blow the family fortune if she does not cut her spending. she spent 100 grand on some toy planes and customised rooms for her kids. She is also looking at 15 million dollar houses. Right now they are comparing her extravagnces to the likes of MC Hammer. She may be real poor again real soon. LOLOL

Carnival Jumbie said...

If its any consolation I read n article today that Posh Spice may very well blow the family fortune if she does not cut her spending. she spent 100 grand on some toy planes and customised rooms for her kids. She is also looking at 15 million dollar houses. Right now they are comparing her extravagnces to the likes of MC Hammer. She may be real poor again real soon. LOLOL

Carnival Jumbie said...

If its any consolation I read n article today that Posh Spice may very well blow the family fortune if she does not cut her spending. she spent 100 grand on some toy planes and customised rooms for her kids. She is also looking at 15 million dollar houses. Right now they are comparing her extravagnces to the likes of MC Hammer. She may be real poor again real soon. LOLOL

Carnival Jumbie said...

If its any consolation I read n article today that Posh Spice may very well blow the family fortune if she does not cut her spending. she spent 100 grand on some toy planes and customised rooms for her kids. She is also looking at 15 million dollar houses. Right now they are comparing her extravagnces to the likes of MC Hammer. She may be real poor again real soon. LOLOL

Carnival Jumbie said...

If its any consolation I read n article today that Posh Spice may very well blow the family fortune if she does not cut her spending. she spent 100 grand on some toy planes and customised rooms for her kids. She is also looking at 15 million dollar houses. Right now they are comparing her extravagnces to the likes of MC Hammer. She may be real poor again real soon. LOLOL

Carnival Jumbie said...

If its any consolation I read n article today that Posh Spice may very well blow the family fortune if she does not cut her spending. she spent 100 grand on some toy planes and customised rooms for her kids. She is also looking at 15 million dollar houses. Right now they are comparing her extravagnces to the likes of MC Hammer. She may be real poor again real soon. LOLOL

Karabana said...

Yikes cj!
LOL!
;-)

Vami said...

hottie, we ent hear from you in a long time! you partying already?

Crankyputz said...

Sigh,......u know since my vacation I've been thinking about my poverty situation so much!..

I really would make a great charity wife....

Happy Belated birthday btw...i love that you took a week to celebrate it....so few people fully understand that concept.

Hottie Hottie said...

Diva, yuh WELL consoling! And Karabana, you think I doh know who Atwood is?! I loved The Edible Woman and Cat's Eye. She is one of my favourite authors.